


you had long hair then

by prettydizzeed



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: (on earth tho), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bullying, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pride Parade, Space Gays, just a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 02:31:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11175147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettydizzeed/pseuds/prettydizzeed
Summary: The stars caused some bizarre and chaotic longing within him.“You're such a space gay.”“Well, have you ever heard of an earth gay? Look around, none of us want to stay here.”He always used to feel bad for Cassiopeia; he, too, had been told his admiration of people's beauty would only cause them to be hurt.





	you had long hair then

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is but my last Bodhi x Cassianfic was pretty angsty so I needed to cleanse my soul 
> 
> title is from "Goodmorning" by Bleachers bc wow I'm obsessed with that album

The stars caused some bizarre and chaotic longing within him.

_“You're such a space gay.”_

_“Well, have you ever heard of an earth gay? Look around, none of us want to stay here.”_

Besides, the telescope made sense, twisting in his hand.

_Freshman year, on that one trip to Hawai’i: a boy named Orion. 17—too old to notice him._

He always used to feel bad for Cassiopeia; he, too, had been told his admiration of people's beauty would only cause them to be hurt.

Or cause him to be hurt.

_Rattling the lockers from shaking so hard, lip bitten bloody before they even touched him._

_Some boys do not want you to love them._

But how do you stop listening to the ocean when it's unending outside your window? How do you look away from the waves?

It's easier to watch the stars.

  
*

  
Cassian doesn't come to Spectrum meetings, so Bodhi isn't allowed to look at him. His eyes charge at the caution tape in his mind, try to break down the door. He traces constellations in the margins of everything he owns.

Cassian does, however, come to protests. Bodhi designs the posters—and the stickers, and the buttons, and the t-shirts—but doesn't march. Everyone there is a megaphone; it's too much. And then—

“Will you help me make a sign? The good ones always end up online and we need that coverage for the message, and so everyone around here knows there are people here trying to take action. I have some slogan ideas but I can't draw at all, and the posters you make are really good, powerful.”

Swallow.

_No. You're more beautiful than the gods._

“O–okay.”

“Great. I'm on the third floor of Porter. Come by any time this afternoon, if that works.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay, that works.”

_Can I look at you if it turns out you're a star?_

  
*

  
The markers, at least, are familiar.

He sketched out the distinctive silhouette on one side, the wildfire hair, and adds Cassian's words in place of facial features: EINSTEIN WAS A REFUGEE. On the other side, the earth, simplistic and bold, the letters curling around it. THERE IS NO PLANET B.

Cassian let out a long breath, half-whistle. “Wow. That's really good.”

Bodhi shrugged. “It's not much.”

“Can I get your help next time, too?”

“Y–yeah, sure, that's fine. I'm never very busy. And these are nice markers.”

Cassian was smiling. “Cool.”

Bodhi already clamped down on his jaw to stop the words from escaping, so he just nodded and left Cassian's room.

_“You're such a space gay.”_

_“Exactly. I'm gay and I need my space.”_

Some boys do not want you to look at them.

  
*

  
“Next time” is June, both of them in summer courses, the campus breathing to a different rhythm, an emptier one.

“How are your classes going?”

“Good.”

“Yeah? Good. I miss seeing you in English.”

_Some boys just say things. Like it’s easy._

“So, listen, there's this thing next week and I was wondering if you could help with a poster.”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

“Great. Walk me to my dorm?”

The markers are fanned out in a perfect rainbow.

“Do you know what the bi flag looks like? I was thinking that with some sort of quote, I don't… I don't really know.”

Bodhi nods. “Yeah.”

He sketches it lightly, then presses the color over the outline. MY SEXUALITY IS NOT A TREND, BUT YOUR IGNORANCE IS. He dusts it with stars: Hercules.

“Is that good?”

Cassian is beaming, alight. “It's perfect.”

“So are you—are you going to Pride?”

“Yeah. Do you want to come? My friend Jyn said she saw you at Spectrum sometimes. I work on Tuesdays so I could never come.”

Bodhi swallows. “Um.”

“You can get back to me if you want, yeah? It's on Sunday.”

_Some boys—_

  
*

  
_Some boys just—_

  
*

  
Some boys are the ocean hanging out of a red pickup truck. Cassian reaches over to open Bodhi’s door.

“I made you a sign.”

The handwriting is so bad, it takes him a second to figure out what it says.

BODHI ROOK DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME

  
*

  
_Some boys want you to love them._

Some boys listen to you talk about the sky for the entire two-hour drive.

**Author's Note:**

> Cassiopeia is one of my favorite constellation myths; she brags that her daughter Andromeda is more beautiful that the Nerieds, Poseidon's daughters, and Poseidon loses his shit per the usual and so her entire family suffers.
> 
> I stole the poster slogans from images online from the march for science. The Pride one is from a design by Daniel Arzola.
> 
> Hercules was the closest I could get to a gay constellation; the Greek equivalent, Heracles, has at least three stories of having a male lover.


End file.
